I quit my job. And it felt so good!

Have you ever wanted to scream at your boss, "I'm done...I quit" and then hang up on him/her?

Yes?

Well I got to actually do it. And I highly recommend doing it at least once in your life. It feels so good! It's like not drinking my beloved Bailey's for a week and then having that first sip...ahhhh, glorious alcohol!

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it, kicked some serious ass at it and make the company a serious amount of money but the boss man was a world class dickbag. Here's just a small breakdown of why I no longer work for him and why I screamed at him and then proceeded to hang up on his ass:

1. Mama can only take so many bounced paychecks. I'm a loyal and sympathetic girl (most of the time), but you take advantage of me and I will go ninja on your ass.

2. After having so many bounced paychecks, don't even try and yell at me for cashing the check rather than just depositing it (only for it to bounce a week later).

3. You can only blame late deliveries on the "idiot delivery driver" so many times. Especially when 9 times out of 10, you were the one delivering and not the idiot delivery driver.

4. When a client orders pork tenderloin, it is not okay to just give them ham because you didn't have the pork tenderloin ready. And no, you cannot then get pissy with them when they question where the fuck the pork tenderloin is.

5. When my days become spent apologizing to clients and running around the county to clear up bounced paychecks, I throw in the towel.

6. And finally, I have two children and a husband to stay on top of. I did not house you in my uterus nor did you put a ring on it. Therefore, I should not have to nag you like only a mother and wife know how. You cannot blame your forgetfulness on your "ADD" forever. You're in your 50's. Drug yourself like every other kindergartner with ADD.

So, I'm taking this as my summer vacation. The kids and I ran errands yesterday and went to the zoo today. I'm even gonna get all Betty Crocker tomorrow and make some cake balls for a party on Sunday. Nothing too crazy though. It is summer vacation which means it's illegal to exert too much energy.