A bucket + water + shovel = a happy little boy!

And Avery was a bit unfazed by it all...

What does a G have do to get more followers?

I've been pondering this topic. I would like more but I would never be a featured blog on SITS or anything of the like because, well, I curse too much. And I use God's name in vain. ::GASP!:: I've tried to scale back on the cursing but I just can't! It's in my blood! Asking me not to curse would be like asking me not to drink Baileys...impossible! 

So here are some solutions to my little conundrum...

1. Sell out. Become someone I'm not. Actually start to post nice things about my kids. It would be like typing through rose colored glasses. And rose colored glasses are just too Elton John for my taste.

2. Pay people to be my followers. Except I'm broke so that wouldn't work so well. Unless people would be willing to take payment via sexual favors...bow chicka wow wow! (I know Cammie would be ALL over this one!)

3. Get my blog listed on every one of those Blog Directory websites as possible. Except I already barely squeeze in enough time to blog as it is. So finding time to do said solution probably wouldn't happen.

4. Fuck it. This isn't a high school popularity contest. But come on...doesn't it kind of feel that way sometimes? We all know who the "cool" bloggers are. They're like the leaders of the Pink Ladies and we're all just the little Patty Simcoxs' of the blogosphere.

So, for you 5 or 6 people who actually leave me comments...what are your thoughts on this?

A Video Wordless Wednesday...I love this kid even though he's a holy terror lately.

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

The conclusion of Luca's birthday weekend!

To say the kid made out would be an understatement! He got so many new and VERY cool toys. Avery is all over them which throws my little 2 year old temper tantrum fueled boy into overdrive! She can't even go near these toys without a major meltdown. He even cracked her in the head tonight with a hot wheel because she got too close! Fucking awesome.

By Sunday night he was in such a sugar coma. I felt like I needed to feed him meatloaf and potatoes for dinner just so he had something besides sugar in his stomach!

So here are a few pics! Luca is officially a 2 year old!

Is there anything better...

...than baby feet in the grass on a beautiful afternoon?

And then...

...they're gone!

Night with the Riversharks!

On Saturday night my little fam of four loaded up the car and headed over to Campbells Field for Hope for Delaney's Night with the Riversharks. The Camden Riversharks are a minor league baseball team and Hope for Delaney is the foundation started in honor of my niece and goddaughter, Delaney (also known as Laney Bean), who was diagnosed at one week old with Cystic Fibrosis. CF is a terminal disease that makes breathing a struggle day in and day out. And our poor little Bean has been fighting it since birth. She's kicking its ass so far though! Yay Laney!

We hold two benefits every year for Hope for Delaney. The first is a beef and beer in January. This past January we raised over $10k for the Cystic Fibrosis Center/Pulmonary Unit and CHOP (Children's Hospital of Philadelphia). The second event is a more fun, family oriented event. This year it was the Camden Riversharks game. Tickets were $11 and $5 from each ticket sale through the Hope for Delaney group code was donated back to the CF Center. We raised $640!!! 

I'm really proud of my sister and brother in law who have faced this disease head on and are not only doing EVERYTHING in their power to keep Laney healthy but also doing everything they can to raise money for a cure. Too many kids die from this horrible disease. It's imperative that we find a cure!

A special thanks to my Ninja chickies for coming out and supporting me, my family, and most especially Laney Bean!

Here are a few pics!

And because we raised so much money, Laney Bean got to go on the field for a check presentation (minus the check...don't know why they didn't have it). I'm working on uploading that video but it seems Blogger doesn't like me today. Get in line, Blogger!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

PS - Sorry it's so shaky. Avery kept grabbing the neck strap and yanking it around!

Just the start of Luca's birthday weekend!!

Luca turns 2 on Sunday so we started with a little celebration at his "school" on Friday! I got these vegan cupcakes from Whole Foods since one of the boys in his class is allergic to milk and eggs. They actually didn't taste all that bad! But I was still disappointed because I was assured on the phone when ordering them that the decorator was phenomenal and she would do an awesome job with the baseball and/or car theme. Yeah...I got plastic basketballs and baseballs stuck into the tops of them. The talent blew me away.

"No one will see if I sneak a lick!" Wrong.

Luca blowing out the non-existent candle on his cupcake! You call it schizophrenic, I call it imagination!

The week from H E L L

What a week!!! I'm about ready for it to be over. I plan on drinking myself into oblivion to escape it.

Let's start with Saturday when Avery began barfing all over the place. It was good times. And I'm not talking a little spit up here or there. I'm talking full on exorcist green barfing, except it wasn't green. Only special effect people can pull that shit off. So she was on pedialyte for a little while which didn't help the "fatten Avery up immediately" campaign but whatevs. She's feeling better by Sunday so we stuck to our plans to take Lukey Stink to a fun children's museum for some Mommy and Daddy time for his birthday. He had a great time and only had one meltdown when it was time to leave.

Cut to Monday when Avery had her weight check appointment in the morning where we learned that she put on a couple ounces. Not horrible but certainly not great. Pedi wants us to take her to an allergist. At this point she has a runny nose and is sneezing a bit but her chest sounded clear so we're good, right? Wrong. By that night she went into full respiratory infection and was coughing something horrible! Luckily the night wasn't too horrible especially since Big Poppa was away on a business trip (where he was struck with the same GI bug). It would have realllllly sucked to be on my own and have a super sick baby who was up all night screaming. Sooooo...back to the pedi the very next day where her pulse ox was low and she sounded junky. She got a neb treatment and was put back on inhalers and sent home. 

So where does that leave us? Ah, Tuesday. 

Like the asshole that I am, I gave her the albuterol inhaler right before bedtime. I scare myself with my own stupidity sometimes. If you aren't familiar with albuterol, it's like fucking speed for babies. Well, that was the exact effect it had on Avery. She was up off and on until approximately 11pm when she was up FOR GOOD! But she wasn't just up playing and being all cute and babbly. She was screaming her fucking head off. Like, going BANANAS! It was horrible. 

So I call the pedi the next morning and told them I would hunt them down one by one if they didn't give me something else that was a little less, what's the word, satanic?! So we got a new inhaler called Xopenex which so far, knock wood, seems to be working.

Back to the weight gain issue. I called and was able to get Avery in to the allergist really fast. Like today, Thursday, fast. Crazy, right? I know, totally. (Did I just totally sound like a valley girl?) So we get there at 8:30am and are seen right away because, well, no one else in their right mind schedules baby appts. that early in the morning and we were the only shmoes in the office. So after a long interview/history giving session the allergist says he thinks she allergic to milk. Oh wait, I forgot to mention, he also diagnosed her as failure to thrive! Failure to fucking thrive! I felt like he slapped me in the face and totally started crying in the office. And this poor little Asian man just sat there like, 'bitch please.'

So we have to switch her formula to some CUH-RAZY expensive kind that we can only get via prescription and the pharmacy. Fucking awesome. But here's the kicker. He also wants her to see a GI specialist ASAP because he can't rule out that she has an absorption issue. WTF?! Needless to say I'm beside myself because he's making it clear that there is definitely something going on with her but we don't know what it is. So I call GI and when's the earliest we can be seen? Late September. Again, fucking awesome.

So that's where we're left. Thursday night and both babies are sleeping soundly in their cribs. Well, no, I think Luke might still be awake and having soccer practice in his crib but Avery...she's asleep. 

Tomorrow I have to bring cupcakes to Luke's school for his birthday which is Sunday. I was able to hunt down Vegan cupcakes so little Aidan can enjoy them with the rest of the class. Seriously, I deserve fucking MOTY for that one. This little boy is allergic to milk and eggs and usually doesn't get to enjoy these birthday treats so I hunted down vegan cupcakes and vegan icing so he could be included. Fucking MOTY, right? Even though he's not my kid but whatevs. 

Saturday is a benefit for my goddaughter/niece who has Cystic Fibrosis and Sunday is Luca's 2nd birthday!!! 

Oh shit...I have to pack too. We're kinda do this moving thing in, oh, two weeks. Yeah. Unprepared would be an understatement. 

Wordless Wednesday

Just when he couldn't get any toolier...

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20297761,00.html

(to summarize if you don't feel like clicking the link: Jon "I think I'm 21 again and need a new wardrobe" Gosselin is hosting a pool party in Vegas.

He obviously hasn't gotten it yet. He clearly doesn't realize that he is making himself appear to be the world's worst father. What other logical reason could he give? He says in the show that this is just him and it's how he's always been. In so many words he says that Kate wouldn't let him be himself and now he finally can be. Great. Welcome back to yourself, Jon. But seriously, you aren't 21 anymore and cannot revert back to that mentality when YOU HAVE 8 KIDS!!!!

And the latest of him and Kate having to call the cops is ridiculous too. Honestly, she probably spazzed in normal Kate fashion and shouldn't have called the cops. Had he kept his stupid mumbling mouth shut then she would have looked like the idiot in this situation. But he didn't. He stood at his fence with the papparazzi (um, weren't you supposed to be watching your kids who could be heard WAY off in the distance) and tape a statement about how she "cried it up" for the cops. Dude is a total fucking douchebag. If he were a real man, regardless of whether he still loves her or not, he would have kept his mouth shut. It's called respect and taking the high road. It's typically the way a man treats a woman. I know it's the way my husband was raised and how I'll raise Luca. He just continues to make himself look like a total asshole and annoy the crap out of people like me.

We're starting to pack up and it blooooooows!

For realsy, it's so sad. I'm a crying, snotty mess. This was our first house and now I have to pack it all up and leave it behind. I shouldn't be sad either. It's a tiny house with an old a/c unit and a poop heater and drafty windows. But it's still OUR house that we have put so much work into (aside from the aforementioned problems in which we didn't do shit about) and brought our babies home to. Most people would be happy to move on to bigger and better things but I'm just sad. 

And how bad is this? I don't even pack the proper way. I'm too lazy. My version of packing is throwing shit in a box and taping it shut. Now if it's a breakable object then I will try to throw some newspaper around it and then toss it into a box but overall, I just don't care about packing. I don't really own anything that is super meaningful. My china is meaningful but I still have the original boxes they were packed in which they'll just go right back into. So if something happens to break along the way....eh, oh well. 

Hmmmm...let's see what else is new. I still hate my car. That hasn't changed. 

Oh, I know. Can I discuss my love for the show Tori and Dean? It does kinda bother me that Dean seems to be a bit of a puss but all in all, I still like it. They seem real and down to earth and the kids are super cute! One thing that totally grosses me out...Tori's boobs. Anyone ever notice when she bends over and it looks like the skins is just going to rip off her chest? Ewwwwwwww! It makes me cringe every time. Is that just a bad boob job or something?

See what I mean? Grodey!

Update on the kiddies

I just realized that I haven't posted any pics of the kids lately and since the original point of this blog was to store all their little milestones and memories (my how things change), I figure it might be nice to put an update in about them.

I have to be honest. Most days lately are really hard with Avery. Something is definitely going on with her. She's not going down for naps and bedtime like she used to. For example, last night she screamed bloody murder for 45 minutes. And I'm not talking just a whine or fuss. Full on screaming like she was being pinched over and over (and I swear I wasn't pinching her...this time). And for the naps...hahaha! Naps. Those are just a distant memory at this point.

Regardless of how hard the days have been, I realize just how insanely blessed I am that they are healthy babies. And on those hard days I just swig some Bailey's and remind myself that all days come to an end and a new one starts tomorrow. Big Poppa still wonders how I could still want a third baby after all the screaming in this house lately and I don't even know why I want one. But I do. Maybe I'm just demented and think that miraculously the third one will be the easiest? (...And I now realize that I'm delusional.)

Ok, enough rambling (I'm good at that, right?)...some updates.

Luca will be 2 years old in a matter of weeks. 2 FREAKING YEARS OLD!!! Can you believe it? I can't. I remember when he was just a itty bitty baby. Oh, who am I kidding? He was never itty bitty. He's always been a moose. But a cute one! The things he's saying now and learning are so funny. He's at the age where he's learning to phrase words together into mini-sentences. The other day when we were on our way home from Avery's pedi appt (more on that later) we stopped to get some McDonald's (yeah I feed my kid fast food. Suck it.). What does he say to me? "Mama get french fry?" Yes bubs...Mama's fat ass did get french fries. Just don't tell Daddy. Later that night at dinner (not fast food so HA!) he was putting some grated cheese on his pasta and chicken and spinach meatball (that I handmade so take that!) when he turned to Big Poppa and said, "I yike (like) cheese!" The kid kills me! And how could I forget his new favorite word? NO!!! 

Super Luca!!!!
  Like father, like son!

He loves apples and peanut butter!

Onto Avery....oh, my sweet sweet Avie Baby. Where have you gone? Please come back to me. PLEASE!!!! I do have to say though, that this little girls temper tantrums at 9.5 months old are quite impressive. I never thought they could have full on tantrums at this age. I mean, Luca would freak out and all but then kick the legs, punch me in the chest type of tantrums. This girl makes fists and screams so hard she shakes. Impressive, right?

So at her well visit the other day we got the news that she was no longer growing at a normal rate. Back at her 7 month well visit (it was supposed to be at 6 months but I was late. Sue me.) she weighed in at 15 lbs., 8 oz. but was fully clothed and diapered. So technically, she weighed 15 lbs., 3 oz. At her appt. the other day (nearly 10 months old) she weighed in at 15 lbs., 7 oz. and only had on a diaper that was barely wet. So in a matter of 3 months time she only put on a couple ounces. They are concerned that she's just not growing at the normal pace anymore. Sooooo...priority numero uno is to fatten this girl up ASAP. We were told to wean off the baby food and start giving more and more table foods. So far, she seems like just about everything that we feed her. The problem is she still just doesn't eat very much of it. But we go back in two weeks for a weight check. If she isn't making progress then it's time for blood work and so on. 

On a milestone front, she's crawling and starting to talk. She can say all done, mama, dada, nanuh (banana) and uh oh! She's also just started pulling herself up on the step/landing at the bottom of the stairs. She's taken a header and bruised up her cheek (that was on Daddy's watch, not mine...just sayin') but it's already practically healed. She likes to look at herself in the mirror and sing along with her little music toy. Still no teeth yet unfortunately. And honestly, I don't even feel or see the starts of any so I think we're still a long way off.

And they actually sat next to each other long enough to snap a picture!

I need to vent about my new car.

I hate it. I know what you're all thinking. 'Shut the eff up...you have a new car you spoiled brat.' And while normally I would agree with you, just hear me out this time. And this could get long so my apologies in advance.

I used to have a Nissan Pathfinder that I absolutely LOVED! I should also mention that for me to LOVE a car it really takes a lot since I am a self professed car whore. A new design comes out on my current car? I need the updated one. My car is more than 3 years old? I need a new one. It's really pricey but it's love...what can I say? 

The lease on my Pathfinder was up and since Big Poppa and I are in serious budget cutting mode we downgraded to a Nissan Altima. Honestly, I feel like I was kinda pushed into the decision by the dealership (which, btw, this NEVER happens because I'm not a pushover but the dealership is owned by a very close friend of ours so it was a different situation) which is making me even more resentful but I can get over that. So onto why I really, really hate this car. 

1. It is so fucking hard to fit my Phil&Ted stroller into the damn trunk. I'm always so nervous that I'm gonna scratch something. Big Poppa thinks it's so easy to put it in and get it out (haha...the places I could go with that sentence ;) ). Yeah, well for starters, that stroller is fucking heavy, and honestly it's not even as heavy as most other doubles but it's still heavy when little old Amy is lifting it. By the time I'm done putting it in the trunk, I'm sweating like a dog in a chinese restaurant. 

2. In my Pathfinder there were climate controls in the back of the car. Hell, there were VENTS in the back that allowed heat and AC to reach the kids. The Altima, not so much. Before getting the car my thought was that it was a sedan so if I just aimed the vents back there, they would reach the kids, right? WRONG. My kids are ROASTING back there. I take them out and they are covered in sweat. So of course I feel horrible while my air conditioned ass is nice and chilly up front. 

3. The wheels. I don't know what genius engineer designed it so the hubcaps stick out but good lord! I've already nearly destroyed the front passenger hubcap by bumping into the curb out front of our house. And folks, I'm not talking I rammed into the motherfucker at 30 mph. I tapped it. And you should see this hubcap! It looks like it's gonna fall off!

4. I've decided that I hate 4 cylinder cars. It's just not enough umph for me. I hear it struggling to accelerate and I automatically think something is broken or doesn't sound right. I need 6 cylinder or more.

5. My back hates me for having to bend over and lift Luca out of the middle of the car and up into his car seat. Let me explain. He's not even 2 yet so running out into the road doesn't even phase him as dangerous. So what I do is have him climb in first on the passenger side and then I click Avery into her infant carrier base. He climbs across to the other side of the car, safely away from any oncoming traffic. The problem is that he can be a little shit at times and he'll sit in between the car seats and NOT MOVE thus making me have to bend down into the car, lift his 30 pound toddler ass up and into his car seat. Know what my back says to that? "FUCK YOU, AMY! PAYBACKS ARE A BITCH!" And those paybacks come in the form of restless nights because my back is screaming at me.

Thank you for listening to me bitch. I feel better. Wouldn't it be nice though if car dealerships had a return policy? I'd be all over that shit!

SO pumped for tonight!!!

I have to preface by saying that, typically, I'm not a concert goer. I like music and everything but going to the ends of the earth to get tickets to the hottest concert never really gave me a rush like buying a new purse or a cute pair of shoes. And hell, who am I kidding? I get that kind of rush simply getting a morning cup of coffee now. 

Anyway, I'm heading to a concert tonight with a couple girlfriends. Are you ready for this?

 

ELTON JOHN AND BILLY JOEL!!! Woohooooo! I've never really been a huge EJ fan. I like his music and know most of the words but Billy on the other hand...I love me some Billy Joel! And who care that our seats are in the nosebleeds?! Just the fact that we'll be there is awesome!

Now, the traffic getting out of the place at the end of the night...probably won't be so great. But whatevs. I'm sleeping in tomorrow.