The week from H E L L

What a week!!! I'm about ready for it to be over. I plan on drinking myself into oblivion to escape it.

Let's start with Saturday when Avery began barfing all over the place. It was good times. And I'm not talking a little spit up here or there. I'm talking full on exorcist green barfing, except it wasn't green. Only special effect people can pull that shit off. So she was on pedialyte for a little while which didn't help the "fatten Avery up immediately" campaign but whatevs. She's feeling better by Sunday so we stuck to our plans to take Lukey Stink to a fun children's museum for some Mommy and Daddy time for his birthday. He had a great time and only had one meltdown when it was time to leave.

Cut to Monday when Avery had her weight check appointment in the morning where we learned that she put on a couple ounces. Not horrible but certainly not great. Pedi wants us to take her to an allergist. At this point she has a runny nose and is sneezing a bit but her chest sounded clear so we're good, right? Wrong. By that night she went into full respiratory infection and was coughing something horrible! Luckily the night wasn't too horrible especially since Big Poppa was away on a business trip (where he was struck with the same GI bug). It would have realllllly sucked to be on my own and have a super sick baby who was up all night screaming. Sooooo...back to the pedi the very next day where her pulse ox was low and she sounded junky. She got a neb treatment and was put back on inhalers and sent home. 

So where does that leave us? Ah, Tuesday. 

Like the asshole that I am, I gave her the albuterol inhaler right before bedtime. I scare myself with my own stupidity sometimes. If you aren't familiar with albuterol, it's like fucking speed for babies. Well, that was the exact effect it had on Avery. She was up off and on until approximately 11pm when she was up FOR GOOD! But she wasn't just up playing and being all cute and babbly. She was screaming her fucking head off. Like, going BANANAS! It was horrible. 

So I call the pedi the next morning and told them I would hunt them down one by one if they didn't give me something else that was a little less, what's the word, satanic?! So we got a new inhaler called Xopenex which so far, knock wood, seems to be working.

Back to the weight gain issue. I called and was able to get Avery in to the allergist really fast. Like today, Thursday, fast. Crazy, right? I know, totally. (Did I just totally sound like a valley girl?) So we get there at 8:30am and are seen right away because, well, no one else in their right mind schedules baby appts. that early in the morning and we were the only shmoes in the office. So after a long interview/history giving session the allergist says he thinks she allergic to milk. Oh wait, I forgot to mention, he also diagnosed her as failure to thrive! Failure to fucking thrive! I felt like he slapped me in the face and totally started crying in the office. And this poor little Asian man just sat there like, 'bitch please.'

So we have to switch her formula to some CUH-RAZY expensive kind that we can only get via prescription and the pharmacy. Fucking awesome. But here's the kicker. He also wants her to see a GI specialist ASAP because he can't rule out that she has an absorption issue. WTF?! Needless to say I'm beside myself because he's making it clear that there is definitely something going on with her but we don't know what it is. So I call GI and when's the earliest we can be seen? Late September. Again, fucking awesome.

So that's where we're left. Thursday night and both babies are sleeping soundly in their cribs. Well, no, I think Luke might still be awake and having soccer practice in his crib but Avery...she's asleep. 

Tomorrow I have to bring cupcakes to Luke's school for his birthday which is Sunday. I was able to hunt down Vegan cupcakes so little Aidan can enjoy them with the rest of the class. Seriously, I deserve fucking MOTY for that one. This little boy is allergic to milk and eggs and usually doesn't get to enjoy these birthday treats so I hunted down vegan cupcakes and vegan icing so he could be included. Fucking MOTY, right? Even though he's not my kid but whatevs. 

Saturday is a benefit for my goddaughter/niece who has Cystic Fibrosis and Sunday is Luca's 2nd birthday!!! 

Oh shit...I have to pack too. We're kinda do this moving thing in, oh, two weeks. Yeah. Unprepared would be an understatement.