"If you love something, set it free. If it returns, it's yours forever..."

She has returned to me. My love.

You might remember back here when I vented about my new car. You see, I was bullied by my husband and car dealer owning friend to turn in my lease early and to get a different car entirely.

Now if you know me, you know that I do not get bullied. I do not succumb to pressure very easily. I was never the victim of peer pressure when I was growing up. It wasn't my style. So when I gave in to them and ended up hating my car, I made sure to remind Big Poppa every.single.time we got into and out of that dumb f'ing car.

Eventually I got so annoying wore him down and he gave in. Smart man. This past weekend I got my beautiful Pathfinder back. I love her. And nothing, particularly a butthead spouse, will come between us again.

My love for Luca was put to the test yesterday...

...when he threw up all over my brand new, one hour old car.

It's a good thing he's cute.

Sort of like locks of love.

Now that things are calming down I figure I can update a little more about what's been going on.

My sister, Jil (she has a blog and I'd link it but she's so overly devoted to it. I mean she does have a whopping two posts on it. And no offense but that's just not worth the effort of linking it in), was taken to the hospital about two weeks ago with what appeared to be stroke like symptoms. It was scary and after a bunch of tests and crap, it was determined that she had something called a Chiari Malformation in her brain. This diagnosis resulted in brain surgery last Thursday. It was super scary, especially for her, but she made it through successfully.

The neurosurgeon informed her that most of her head would have to be shaved. So in an effort to make it look less, um, dumb, she opted for a super short but super cute haircut. She was really upset about doing it but thought it'd be better than having to shave her whole head. As a show of support (see? I'm not always a bitch whore) my other sister Jodie and I decided to also chop our hair off.

Here are the pictures. I omitted the ones of me crying. I kid, I kid. It took me over a year to grow my hair to the length it was when JoAnn (hairstylist extraordinaire) hacked it all off. But it's hair so it'll grow back. Whatevs. And I'm a loyal girl so it was worth it.

Here is Jil, in her hospital room, getting her hair did. Her eyes are closed because she was pretty drugged. Lucky.

And me. Shut up with the comments on my hotness. You're all just jealous.

Luca got in on the brain surgery haircut action as well. So damn cute!

And my other sister, Jodie, got her turn as well.

Jodie and I with the finished product. It looks much better after a blowdry and flat iron. Promise.

Jil and I later that day. She's a tough cookie.

She made it through the brain surgery!

Just a quick update that my sister, Jilian, made it through the brain surgery this morning with flying colors! She has a very hard recovery ahead of her but she's a tough girl so I have no doubts that she can handle it.

Stay tuned for my "Brain Surgery Haircuts" post!

I'm not dead!

I'll be back to blogging soon. I'm insanely busy with some family stuff. My sister is having brain surgery this week so we're focusing on her right now!

I've got some good stuff up my sleeve though so stay tuned!

I FOUND A JOB!!!

You'll be pleased to know that I've found a job! And guess where??? THE BEST OF CRAIGSLIST, of course! Uh-duh!

This one is a real gem.

My comments in red. Here we go!

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Astronaut Needed (do you get the title of "Astronaut" even if you aren't technically qualified for the position? If yes, SWEET! Sign me up! Mom and Dad can finally say they're proud of me!)

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Date: 2009-09-14, 3:43AM MDT

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Astronaut needed for experimental flight to Titan. Where the hell is Titan? I'm no Albert Einstein but last time I went through my solar system {in 3rd grade}, Titan wasn't included. I am a bit rusty though. Google just told me that Pluto was de-planetized. Maybe Titan took its place? I have been working on this project now for near 40 years (that's a long ass time to working on something imaginary. Jeez...my imaginary friend only lasted 20 years. He's got me beat.) and am afraid I'm no longer fit (read: sane) enough to go.
My secret space craft (that he borrowed from Balloon Boy's parents) is the result of my professional experience and imagination (AH-HA! There it is!!!) while serving the U.S. military (prior to being kicked out for schizophrenia) in advanced aeronautics as a scientist.
The craft harnesses a revolutionary (read: new, untested, death likely) propulsion system and its fuselage is fabricated with the most advanced material (baking soda and vinegar). While considerably safe (not sure how much weight there is in "considerably safe" to a schizophrenic but whatevs...) , I am certain you will make it safely to Titan but there will not be enough fuel to get home (you can stock that flying piece of imaginary crap with enough fuel to get to Titan but not enough to get home??? So this has now become a suicide mission???). This is for someone unique (read: suicidal) that has always wanted to see the universe first-hand (you want to see the universe?? Go on a safari in Africa. Eat pasta in Italy. Pick up a hooker in Amsterdam. But board a big helium balloon to "Titan" and don't return? Hmm...I don't think that's on a travel agents agenda.) and has perhaps a terminal view on life here at home (there it is again. If you're looking to die that he's the guy you want to talk to). Here's your shot at romantic history (that's a ballsy way to describe it. Unless Brad Pitt {minus the nasty ass braided pubic hair looking thing on his chin} is joining me, I would probably describe it as psychotic).

Must be:
-physically fit. Why must we be fit to die? If I'm gonna die on this thing you better believe I'm going out in all my glory. Surrounded by Baileys, Starbucks, Wendy's, ChickFilA and Dunkin Donuts.
-mentally sound. Pot meet kettle.
-over the age of 18. Make sure you're not assisting a minor in their death!
-a dreamer.
-a believer. If you're a believe of this, then maybe you should go because you are that stupid.
-not afraid of heights.
-not afraid of extreme conditions such as speed, pressure, heat, etc. You're gonna die anyway so suck it up.
-brave.
-no taller than 5'10 and relatively slim.
-good eye-sight & hearing.
-manual dexterity (although the craft is largely cpu controlled). HA! So this guy is going to actually control your death. That's fabulous!
-OK in cramped conditions for long periods of time. Duh. Titan is pretty far away.

• Location: Northern Alberta
• Compensation: $25,000 CASH. Here is where I'm baffled. You get $25,000 cash to die. Can I at least get that shit in advance so I can enjoy it???
• This is a contract job.
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 1373376861

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So I've come to the conclusion that this man is the new era Kevorkian. Or did you hear about the guy who was seeking sexual services on Craigslist and then killing the women? I think he was even labeled the Craigslist Killer. Maybe this guy is just going about it in a new, more "unique" way.

Either way, the man is clearly a loon. I wish I could spy into his email and see if he got any responses and what they said. They've got to be equally amusing. Or sad.

He had me up until the suicide part. I was ALL for being an Astronaut but I'd kinda like to come home from Titan to see my hubs and kids.

Oh well...guess my job search continues.