UGH! I want to scream! It's all we've been watching for the last 3 weeks. I can recite the whole movie, word for word. It's really quite pathetic when you and your husband quote the movie all.day.long. No, for reals. We drive past a Kenworth dealerships and we say, "all those sleeping trucks!" (that would be a Mac quote)
Woman to sit in my bath tub full of noodles, wearing a bathing suit. (be grateful you weren't asked to be naked)
Date: 2009-04-29, 1:39AM EDT
I will pay you $1 USD (seriously, one fucking dollar??? I wouldn't get up off my couch for you for one dollar! cheapskate.) to sit in my bathtub full of noodles while you wear a one piece bathing suit.
I will not be home (but I will be just outside the door waiting to lock you in), nor will anyone else while you do this. (we will all be watching from the hidden camera installed in the ceiling though)
I will leave the key for you, and you will sit at your leisure. (because what's more leisurely then sitting in some strangers bathtub full of noodles? I'm just saying, it's what I like to do when the hubs takes the kids out for the day.)
I will require at least a 5 minutes stay. (followed by your permanent stay in heaven after I've murdered you. WHAT? You can't honestly expect you're getting out of their alive. If nothing else you'll slip on a wet noodle and crack your head on the tub.)
A neighbor will watch the front door from across the street (it's a team effort...yay for teamwork!) and using a supplied stopwatch (because the other psycho across the street doesn't own a clock or watch so he must be supplied a stopwatch), will time your entry and departure.
Please supply your own footwear. (I hear Skechers makes some new slip resistant footwear. You may want to check them out.)
The noodles will be cooked, and therefore slippery. (thus the need for the Skechers slip resistant shoes...duh.)
DO NOT bring any sauce (he wants to be able to see your blood and not confuse it with Prego). I will season the pasta after I return home prior to dinner. (you can't blame the guy for wanting a little salt and pepper with his meal.)
Seriously, it's a sad sad world I live in.
Anywizzy, here's what I really wanted to post about. Everyone knows I love me some 'Best of Craigslist.' The shit is just too fucking funny and weird. I have to wonder how much of it is really true sometimes. But then I think about how many fucking weirdo's are in the world and it's confirmed that all this shit is most likely 100% true. So here is one of my recent fave finds. My comments in blue.
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Date: 2009-04-29, 1:39AM EDT
I will pay you $1 USD (seriously, one fucking dollar??? I wouldn't get up off my couch for you for one dollar! cheapskate.) to sit in my bathtub full of noodles while you wear a one piece bathing suit.
I will not be home (but I will be just outside the door waiting to lock you in), nor will anyone else while you do this. (we will all be watching from the hidden camera installed in the ceiling though)
I will leave the key for you, and you will sit at your leisure. (because what's more leisurely then sitting in some strangers bathtub full of noodles? I'm just saying, it's what I like to do when the hubs takes the kids out for the day.)
I will require at least a 5 minutes stay. (followed by your permanent stay in heaven after I've murdered you. WHAT? You can't honestly expect you're getting out of their alive. If nothing else you'll slip on a wet noodle and crack your head on the tub.)
A neighbor will watch the front door from across the street (it's a team effort...yay for teamwork!) and using a supplied stopwatch (because the other psycho across the street doesn't own a clock or watch so he must be supplied a stopwatch), will time your entry and departure.
Please supply your own footwear. (I hear Skechers makes some new slip resistant footwear. You may want to check them out.)
The noodles will be cooked, and therefore slippery. (thus the need for the Skechers slip resistant shoes...duh.)
DO NOT bring any sauce (he wants to be able to see your blood and not confuse it with Prego). I will season the pasta after I return home prior to dinner. (you can't blame the guy for wanting a little salt and pepper with his meal.)
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I wish I could say that I make this stuff up but there really are some crazies out there. Who in there right mind would participate in something like this for $1??? At least throw me a ten spot and then maybe I'll consider it. A girl has standards.
6 comments:
you are a nut.
CARS....we went through that non stop phase also. Then we moved to Wall-E, then to Bolt.
I have been missing your posts Amy!! You are seriously too funny! Glad your back, keep them coming! I have never seen the movie... I tried, once, but really had to shut it off!!
Oh.my.stars! Are you kidding???? That's just STUPID! Now, I'm going to have to go looking through Craig's List to see what kind of crap I can find. LOL! That's too funny!
And -- sorry about the Cars movie...LOL!
As my teenager would say, OMG...this is some hilarious stuff. I was passing through someone else's blog and yours caught my eye so I decided to come and drop you a line. I laughed hysterically at your opening statement because you were pregnant when your son was 5 months...LOL...my mom found out she was pregnant again at her 6 weeks check up after my sister was born. This is an insane word.
You're shittin' me. And thank your lucky stars that movie ain't Thomas the freakin train!
LOL, I read the Best of Craigslist as well and was laughing my ass off when I read that!!
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