And why am I so neurotic, you ask?
Pre-school registration.
Who knew that 3 year old pre-school registration would make my heart race and put me in the heat of a competition? Let's start from the beginning.
Big Poppa and I want to put Luca in pre-school next year. Easy, right? Um, no. Apparently there are only 3 pre-schools in the town we live in ranging in price from $3,000 (I'll wait while you pick your jaw up off the ground) to $1400.
Anyway, we had our #1 pick. A local church. Bonus points that Luca was gonna get some education and some God. The director tells me that church members and siblings of current students got first priority for registration and then it would open to everyone. At that point she would mail out registration applications. We were to fill them out, mail back an application fee and then she would number them as they came in. Essentially we would be on the waiting list until the 2 week window for the church members ended. Then she would go through the open registrations and start placing kids.
Now, do you wanna know what I heard while she was explaining that whole process?
It's a race. You must get your application in if you want your kid to get a spot. Don't let anyone beat you. Classes fill up immediately. If you aren't #1 on the wait list you will be labeled the worst mother in the town. Pft. You won't be quick enough. I dare you to be first on the waiting list. Double dog dare you.
So for the last two weeks I've been stalking the mail truck and subsequently running (yes, literally running) out to check the mail for that application. When I hadn't seen anything by earlier this week, I did what any sane, logical, concerned mother would do. I called and called and called until she finally answered and asked where the fuck they were at (okay, I didn't say it exactly like that but you get the point). She told me to simmer down and that they'd be mailed out this week.
Today was the day. I swear when I opened the mailbox bright light came flooding out. There it was. Like the golden ticket from a Willy Wonka chocolate bar.
I ran (again, yes, I fucking RAN) into the house and filled that shit out at lightning speed along with the check for the registration fee.
Then I grabbed my keys and went to jump in my car to drive it to the school. Screw mailing it. That would delay me the application for at least a day or two. And who knows? I could have been #150 on the waiting list by then. That would NOT be acceptable. So I go to jump in the car and FUUUUUUUCK!! Avery's napping! GAHHHH! Damn kids getting in the way again!
Luckily at just that moment my Mom walked through the door. Sweet baby Jesus in a manger! I yelled at her to watch the kids as I bolted out the door. I think she heard the words "registration," "pre-school," "waiting list" and "win" as I whizzed past her.
I get to the school, catch my breath and deliver the application. It was done. And get this...
I AM #1 ON THE WAITING LIST!!!
Fuck yeah, baby!!! Take that suckas!
Now I need to focus on potty training Luca because he can't attend said school until he stops crapping in his pants. Did I fail to mention that in the beginning? Yeah...fully potty trained in order to attend.
I swear to all that's holy if this kid doesn't potty train and I just completed my own mini-Ironman for him, I'm gonna be hotter than Hades! Or I could look at the bright side and think of it as my way of burning off that entire sleeve of Oreos I ate last night!
6 comments:
I think I love you! This is so damn funny I almost pissed my pants!!!
Wow... simmer down is right!! You have not one privately owned preschool near you? That's crazy right there. Registration is always wacky! He will get in! My school where I teach, always has a waiting list and it always works out that kids get spots. Best Beginnings is a fun place for kids!! School is only 2 hrs 15 minutes long- am and pm sessions. Is it that way for you? You did work off your oreos for sure! Love ya Amy!! Reward Bag with surprises inside works really well to encourage potty training!!
I am terrified about the pre-school race when we get ready ready to do it, and yes I know I sound crazy because it's still a year and a half away but who knows where the hell we'll be at that point.
So you are one of "those" moms :)
Im on my way to Dirty to make out with you. Buy me wine.
That is so funny! You write so well. I was laughing so loud that my kids came in to see what was making me laugh so much.
There was lots of competition and waiting lists to get into good schools and pre-schools in the UK where we lived a few years ago.
Now here in Australia there seems to be a laid back, no worries attitude and the kids have just walked into the schools of their choice. Your blog post has made me just a little bit more appreciative of how lucky we are.
I just know I would have acted like you wanting to be the first on the list... and there would have been a fair few f***s thrown in as I raced to be number one. Are you sure you aren't my long lost sister..?!
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