7.5 hours in an ER waiting room + 2 Mom's from the projects = an AWESOME blog post!

You probably won't believe half the shit I put in this post but believe you me, it's all true. I swear on a bottle of Bailey's.

It started Sunday when Avery began getting more snotty and by Monday her cough was horrendous. She would cough so hard that she started choking and losing her breath. It was really scary to watch her turn purple. During one of the worst coughing attacks I flipped her over because I really thought she was choking and wacked her on the back. Out comes a huge, grodey mucus ball. Nastiness. But I'm sure it probably helped a little. My poor baby kind of looked like this only miniature...

Anyway, by that night things just got worse. So I packed her up and we trekked over to Children's Hospital. By this point it was 9pm and the place was PACKED! 

So I sign in and settle in. We get called back relatively quickly but it was trick. They only wanted her vitals (she also had a fever...sweet). So back out to the waiting room. Here's the fun part. We sat for 5.5 hours before being called back. And now to the beef of this post, the gems of wisdom I learned from the two Fiesty Mamas (from here on out they shall be referred to as FM1 and FM2) that befriended me in the waiting room.

FM1's baby daddy (referring to her 2nd baby daddy...her 1st daughter has a different baby daddy) is a "drug addict pizza face." Please don't ask me what a pizza face is because I'm clueless. Unless the man is covered in sauce, cheese, and pepperoni and is baked to a crispy finish then I got nothing. FM2's baby daddy is a wannabe rapper. 

Here are a few things that I learned from the Fiesty Mama's...

- it is okay to smoke weed whilst pregnant because weed "don't do nothing to a baby." Oh and while we're at it, drinking beer isn't a big deal either. Beer puts hair on a baby. What? You didn't know that?!

-it is okay for your baby daddy/man to cheat because all men do. But as long as you have his kid, then you're number 1 and other bitches don't matter. It's all about respect. Sing on, sisters.

-people be hatin', but whatever. I heard this more times than I can count.

-taking percocet because you're having some pre-term contractions will cause the hospital to call Family Services on your ass.  It has nothing to do with the fact that you smell like weed and beer.

-feeding your 3 month old baby eggs, potatoes, grits, and BACON (yes, I said BACON) is perfectly normal. "She a fatty...hahahaha!" This has nothing to do with the percentage of obese children in the world today. Why not just hook an IV of lard up to the kid?!

-it's ok for a baby (and by baby I mean a 2 month old) to drink an entire bottle of water because it clears up their "thresh" which I assume means thrush. Going to a doctor/clinic and getting a prescription for this infection, that has spread onto her face, isn't even a viable option.

I was never so happy to hear my daughter's name called out! While it was nice chatting with these ladies and learning about their unique families, I was ready to be seen by some doctors. My poor baby was tired and sick. But the night was far from over. We finally were discharged at around 530am. I still had no sleep in me and poor Avie Baby had also been in and out of it. She was constantly woken up by puking kids, crouping babies, or psychotic teenagers who were "fixing to have a nervous fucking breakdown up in this shit." (her words, not mine...and she SCREAMED them at around 2am...good times).

Diagnosis - upper respiratory infection and a swollen throat from coughing so hard.

Treatment - abso-fucking-lutely NOTHING!

Yeah, no treatment. While I'm super happy and grateful that it was nothing serious, I'm super pissed that there is nothing I can do for her. She's still hacking her lungs up and choking and I have to just watch her. Fucking lame.

Here's hoping she starts feeling better. Poor baby just isn't her smiley, perfect self.